Dating Apps, we now have access to hundreds of them, and through them millions of people. We all know the saying “plenty more fish in the sea”- but does having access to so many more people lead to a higher success rate in love?
Data shows that before 2010 most adults met through friends. This has now been replaced by apps, with just under 40% meeting a partner online.
This rise in making digital connections has led to a new type of dater who values efficiency and accessibility over meaningful connection. Some experts are worried that our mental health may be negatively impacted as a result.
Self validation
Dating expert Cheryl Muir emphasised that a lot of the time we go on dating apps to make ourselves feel better, rather than to actually seek romantic connection.
“It’s about how we’re using the technology, how we are using it and why we are using it. Are we using it to validate ourselves to make ourselves feel better, or is it coming from a place of if this person texts back it means i’m worthy, or are we trying to genuinely build connection, build partnership, build community.”
“I think it’s fair to say that most people are not using dating apps and technology that and that they’re using them as a bandaid for some real emotional wounds they have that they’re perhaps avoiding.”
Deception
Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Tomas Campbell, warns that the increase of fostering connections online has led to negative trends such as ghosting, cat-fishing and deception.
“Everybody’s online profile is curated so that everyone is presenting the best version of themselves, people photo-shop themselves, people present themselves literally in their best light”.
Campbell highlighted that interest is selected on very few superficial cues on dating apps, “you don’t know anything about their personality other than what they tell you, you don’t know anything about their personal characteristics or that you might value like kindness or a sense of humour or energy or relatability. None of those are available”.
Are dating apps having an impact on our behaviour?
Haja is in her 20s and told us she believes there is a carelessness manifesting itself in her generation.
LGBTQ+ community
The evidence so far suggests we should be spending less time online when looking for love. But, for the LGBTQ+ community who’ve historically had restrictions on their freedom to date, apps play a more central role.
Liam, a member of the LGBTQ+ community see’s them as a safe place and a necessity, “in a bar, there’s always going to be that element of a safety aspect, because you never know how someone is going to react because there’s still people in this world who are living in the criminal ages when gay was like illegal and it’s like, you know, if you have the confidence to go up to someone in a bar you’re actually putting yourself at risk.”
“This whole, let’s all be in a fairytale, let’s just bump into people in the street or let’s just go up to people complement them and get married it’s just not going to happen because you have to at least know that they’re interested in the same sex.”
How can we use platforms responsibly?
With Tinder telling us 2020 was their busiest year yet, recording their highest swipe activity of 3 billion in a single day- it’s clear that apps will continue to be a part of our lives.
Dating app developers have a responsibility to protect their users. But how can we use these platforms responsibly, looking after ourselves whilst also achieving better outcomes.
We can build a healthy relationship with our dating apps as long as we use them with balance. Whether this be by turning off notifications, keeping an eye on screen time or making an effort to meet up with people in real life.
There’s a way we can use dating apps without them taking control of our daily lives.
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Standfirst
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HeadlineDating in a digital age – does having access to more people lead to a higher success rate in love?
Short HeadlineDating in a digital age
StandfirstHas the rise in dating app usage has led to a new type of dater who values efficiency and accessibility over meaningful connection?
Dating Apps, we now have access to hundreds of them, and through them millions of people. We all know the saying “plenty more fish in the sea”- but does having access to so many more people lead to a higher success rate in love?
Data shows that before 2010 most adults met through friends. This has now been replaced by apps, with just under 40% meeting a partner online.
This rise in making digital connections has led to a new type of dater who values efficiency and accessibility over meaningful connection. Some experts are worried that our mental health may be negatively impacted as a result.
Self validation
Dating expert Cheryl Muir emphasised that a lot of the time we go on dating apps to make ourselves feel better, rather than to actually seek romantic connection.
“It’s about how we’re using the technology, how we are using it and why we are using it. Are we using it to validate ourselves to make ourselves feel better, or is it coming from a place of if this person texts back it means i’m worthy, or are we trying to genuinely build connection, build partnership, build community.”
“I think it’s fair to say that most people are not using dating apps and technology that and that they’re using them as a bandaid for some real emotional wounds they have that they’re perhaps avoiding.”
Deception
Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Tomas Campbell, warns that the increase of fostering connections online has led to negative trends such as ghosting, cat-fishing and deception.
“Everybody’s online profile is curated so that everyone is presenting the best version of themselves, people photo-shop themselves, people present themselves literally in their best light”.
Campbell highlighted that interest is selected on very few superficial cues on dating apps, “you don’t know anything about their personality other than what they tell you, you don’t know anything about their personal characteristics or that you might value like kindness or a sense of humour or energy or relatability. None of those are available”.
Are dating apps having an impact on our behaviour?
Haja is in her 20s and told us she believes there is a carelessness manifesting itself in her generation.
LGBTQ+ community
The evidence so far suggests we should be spending less time online when looking for love. But, for the LGBTQ+ community who’ve historically had restrictions on their freedom to date, apps play a more central role.
Liam, a member of the LGBTQ+ community see’s them as a safe place and a necessity, “in a bar, there’s always going to be that element of a safety aspect, because you never know how someone is going to react because there’s still people in this world who are living in the criminal ages when gay was like illegal and it’s like, you know, if you have the confidence to go up to someone in a bar you’re actually putting yourself at risk.”
“This whole, let’s all be in a fairytale, let’s just bump into people in the street or let’s just go up to people complement them and get married it’s just not going to happen because you have to at least know that they’re interested in the same sex.”
How can we use platforms responsibly?
With Tinder telling us 2020 was their busiest year yet, recording their highest swipe activity of 3 billion in a single day- it’s clear that apps will continue to be a part of our lives.
Dating app developers have a responsibility to protect their users. But how can we use these platforms responsibly, looking after ourselves whilst also achieving better outcomes.
We can build a healthy relationship with our dating apps as long as we use them with balance. Whether this be by turning off notifications, keeping an eye on screen time or making an effort to meet up with people in real life.
There’s a way we can use dating apps without them taking control of our daily lives.
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